Bonfire night is coming up this week, on November 5th, and for many dogs and their owners fireworks are a nightmare, causing stress and anxiety for days on end as people celebrate with a bang!
My dog Hazel has always been frightened of fireworks. She would tremble all over and climb on me, or else take cover under my desk or therapy couch. Over the last few years I have seen many TV episodes of "The Dog Whisperer" with Cesar Milan. I think he is amazing and it turns out that every time there is an anxiety problem with a dog, it is the owner that needs training! With this in mind, I realised that I must be contributing to my dog's anxiety about fireworks.
On the basis that I convey my energy to my dog, I need to give out the energy of calm-assertiveness in order that my dog can be calm-submissive. In the past I was comforting her, telling her it was OK and that mummy was looking after her! I have to be honest and admit that I liked protecting her and the feeling of her cuddling up to me for safety. In the light of my new learning, it was my responsibility to assume the role of leader of the pack. I had not been fair on her and had not given her what she needed in the past. This all happened a couple of years ago when there had been firework displays and firework parties in the neighbours' gardens for a few days running. I took the normal precautions of drawing all the curtains and having the TV on quite loud. When we heard the first bangs go off, Hazel's ears pricked up and she came to me for reassurance. In order to convey calm-assertive energy, I did not look at her, I relaxed my body and gave a yawn. I made sure I was utterly unaffected, unconcerned and chilled out. I said nothing and did not touch her. Amazingly, there were no trembles and after a while she laid down. Then I started to give her a nice brush and she accepted this very calmly. Later the noise was more intense and she did climb up and spread herself over me. I allowed this but again did not speak, fuss or look at her. This was our best bonfire night ever. Hazel was calm and confident - it was as if she knew she was in good hands. So often our behaviour with our dogs is about what we need from the relationship rather than what the dog needs. As a dog lover I need to give my dog leadership and balance through my thoughts and body language. I should not indulge her fears and anxieties because it makes me feel needed! In having a dog, I make a commitment to take care of her needs but there is no reciprocation in the dog/human relationship. My needs are my own responsibility.Over the last two years our firework nights have been less stressful with this approach. She has not come to like it but we manage the situation much more successfully now that I don't indulge Hazel and feed her fears.
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